April Fools.

As every potty trained toddler must, Andrew started preschool when he was almost four, at the Center for Children's Services..

I mentioned, I always tried to make sure Andrew had one person that I knew loved him. At the center it was Ms. Shannon. She was young. Mid 20's I would guess.
But she always had a hug and a smile for Drew. She was great at giving me updates on his progress, she was patient and kind, and I always felt safe knowing he was in her care.

When he started there I was about at the end of a short 6 month stint as a Blue Cross/Blue Shield employee. My cousin Michelle also worked there (she liked it way better than I did).
Whether it was due to one of my many car accidents, or just my car not running, Michelle was our ride for a few days.
She would pick me and Andrew up, drop Andrew at preschool, and she and I would head on out to work.

On April 1st we finished our work day and headed to CCS to pick Andrew up from preschool. When I walked into the cafeteria part of the center as the kids were finishing up their snack, Andrew ran up to me and I opened my arms for a hug.
No hug.. Instead he proudly announced to me that he had a raisin in his nose.
My reply "ha ha buddy.. you're so funny.. you got mommy on April fools day".
But he kept telling me about this raisin. Finally, I looked. "nope, I don't see a raisin. You're really good at this".
Then a teacher (not Ms. Shannon) walked over and said "uh no, he really does have a raisin in his nose". I explained to her that I looked and saw no evidence of a fruity nose.. At that point, she handed me a flashlight and asked me to look again. I shined the light up my young sons nostril. And sure enough lodged so far up his nose, I thought it would come out of his eye socket, was a raisin. How on earth did he get it that far up??
I tried to push it down from the outside to no avail. I was afraid to stick tweezers or anything else up there to try to get it, for fear I would only push it further into his brain. As a first time young mom, I was at a loss.. No one ever told me kids did this kind of thing..
The older teacher recommended I take him to the emergency room.

So Sun maid Raisin boy and I headed out to Michelle waiting in her car.
I got him situated in the back seat, and put myself in the front seat.
I looked over at Shell and said "we need to go to the emergency room". She gave me a puzzled look and I said "he's got a raisin in his nose".
She said "ha ha, April fools". Nope Shell.. Really.. He's got a raisin in his nose.

Fortunately the emergency room was a half a block away.
As you all know, going to the emergency room is a lengthy task. You have to be checked in, provide insurance information, get a handy dandy hospital bracelet, and back then, you didn't get ushered into a room. There were two waiting rooms. One to wait until it's your turn for the check in, and one to wait in until the nurse decides to call you back. So after check in, we went to the next holding bay and waited for our turn. All the while trying to keep young Andrews hands away from his face and his finger out of his nose.
Finally we were called back to an exam room. The nurse took his blood pressure, temperature, pulse, weighed him... blah blah blah.. Why his weight had any importance on the fruit in his snout, will never be known.. But we jumped through all the hoops only to hear "the doctor will be in soon". Soon in the emergency room really means and hour and a half.. And hour and a half of nothing to do but start thinking about what was really going on. Then panic struck.. What if they can't get it out? What if he sniffs and sucks it into his brain? What if?????

Finally after what felt like a week long wait, a doctor appeared.
"What seems to be the problem?".. Well as we told the check in lady and the nurse, "he's got a raisin in his nose."
Doc took out his little nostril flashlight and poked it up my kids nose.. "yep, he's got a raisin in his nose". And he proceeded to lecture my now bored and cranky toddler about the danger of putting foreign objects in you nose or ears..
Hello??? Can we just get the raisin?

So doc says he needs to go get some instruments and disappears out the door.
I nervously joked with Michelle (thank God she was there) and tried to keep Andrew from touching everything in the room.
Out of boredom, I told him to let me look again..
Yep, it's still there.. But it looked bigger.. I kept looking and then it occurred to me.. A raisin is a dried grape. A dehydrated grape. The moisture in Andrew's nostril was re hydrating the grape. More mommy panic.
It seemed like the doctor would never come back.. I pushed on the outside of his nose again, and IT MOVED (the grape, not the nose).. I pushed again and again until finally the raisin/grape oozed out of his nose. Our work here is done.

I stepped out and told a nurse to let the doctor know the raisin was out, and we were leaving.
Unfortunately once you've been checked into the emergency room, they own you until they tell you they don't own you, and we had to "sit tight" until the doctor came back.
When he did, I presented him with the now grapey raisin and boastfully told him I had extracted it myself.
Turns out, doesn't really matter if the doctor treats the patient, or the parent treats the patient. It cost me $800.00 to remove a raisin from my own kids nostril.

What's funny about that? What's NOT funny about that????
I still tell the story and I still laugh my ass off every time..

And so the games began.